River cruise lines: what the extra money actually buys

People rule out the top river cruise lines on the sticker price. Almost nobody does the sum that would tell them whether that was the right call, so let me do it here.

What is usually included, and what is not

On the mid-range lines the fare typically covers your cabin, meals in the main dining room, and one included excursion at most stops. Drinks beyond wine at dinner, gratuities, specialty dining and the better excursions are extra. Flights are almost always extra.

On the luxury lines the fare usually carries drinks throughout the day, all gratuities, every excursion including the more interesting ones, specialty dining, and often the flights as well.

Take a mid-range fare and add a drinks package, tips for a week, two paid excursions and a specialty dinner, and the number moves a long way toward the luxury fare. Sometimes past it. That is the comparison worth making, and it is not the one the booking pages invite you to make.

Where the real difference shows up

Crew ratio. More staff per guest changes the whole feel of a week. It is the difference between being looked after and being processed.

Cabin size and the balcony. Luxury ships give up cabin count for cabin size. Fewer people, more room, and proper verandas rather than a window that opens a few inches.

The food. Not just the dining room. The difference is most obvious at breakfast and lunch, which is where mid-range ships economise and guests notice without quite knowing why.

Excursions. The included tour on a cheaper line is usually the walking tour everybody does. On the top lines the included list has genuine choice in it, including the smaller-group options that other people pay extra for.

The upgrade that matters most, whatever line you pick

The cabin deck.

On a river ship the view is the product. The lowest deck has small windows set high in the wall, near the waterline, and they do not open. The upper decks have French balconies or full verandas.

The price difference between decks is real. So is the difference in the week you have. You booked a river cruise to watch a river go past, and on the bottom deck you largely do not. If you economise anywhere on a river cruise, do not economise here.

Which river, before which line

The line matters less than most people think. The river matters more.

The Danube is the classic first one and balances cities against countryside. The Rhine is castles and vineyards with short hops between stops. The Douro in Portugal is the one people fall hardest for and the ships are smaller because the locks are. The Seine and the Rhône are France, one for Normandy and one for Provence. The Nile is a different sort of trip altogether, closer to an archaeology tour that happens to float.

Choose the river first. The right line for that river follows from it.

Book earlier than feels necessary

River ships carry around 150 people rather than several thousand. The good cabins on popular sailings go a year or more ahead, and the best suites on the luxury lines go earlier still.

If you are thinking about next summer, you are not early. You are about on time.

Where I come in

I plan these for clients all over the country, not just locally, because river cruising is a specialism rather than a place. Knowing which line suits you, which deck to book and which stretch of river is right for a first trip is the whole job.

The fare is the same whether you book it yourself or through me. What is not the same is having somebody tell you when the more expensive option is genuinely the better value, which on the rivers it often is.